What have they done with the videos?

I hate it when things I count on get all funked up and wonky, in some corporate attempt at “improvement”. Wankers! We all know the only boost they care for is their wallet. The latest criminal activity is the new VH1 Top 20 Video Countdown format. It used to be organic and spontaneous and wonderfully weird. Rachel Perry pretending (?) to make out with Tommy Lee in a dodgy bar, or going berserk at the fair, and there were real people in the background. She is the punky goddess of fun, and who wouldn’t want to hang out with her? I liked Ahmer Haleem too, if slightly less. He is the perfect kind of self-deprecating, dorky cool that puts me at ease. Now they have this depressed looking bloke who only speaks Casey Kasem. I think the android’s name is Pinfold or something, and he has no charisma, no humor, no goofiness. He just sits in a sterile, generic studio that looks like the remnants of the set from Tron.

With the new format they don’t even play the entire video. It is mere blips blended around their scheme to get kids on the Internet and be bombarded with more adverts. I need the whole video – I have my favorite bits and I know when to expect them. The Top 20 Countdown was my best chance to see music videos. Between that and EW I try to do my pop culture homework, do what I can to keep up. Plus, some videos from the past few years are sooooo good I sometimes get up and dance around my living room. Don’t be embarrassed for me, this is just who I am.

I liked my Saturday morning routine – drink a pot of tea, watch videos, putter around the house. I miss the field trip vibe and getting to add quirky culture tips to my NYC list. In the previous form, the VH1 Video Countdown was inadequate in totally quenching my video thirst, but at least it was a reliable way to get a fix of insane outfits and dancy pants moves. Why can’t they play more videos, and bring some older ones into rotation instead of retiring anything beyond the 6 months shelf life? Play that Mr. Brightside video every now and then – those guys are hot.

I realize I’m not the first to bring this to your attention. The new format is yet another strike against music videos and their delicious, unpredictable, mixed bag selves. Yeah, I know, why play videos where people watch for a few minutes and then tune out. Having a block of programming invests people in watching to the end. Maybe playing videos all day doesn’t keep the booties in chairs, watching the adverts. Especially the booties that are shaking it, trying to show off for their pets.

While I’m at it, I also want Softsoap to bring back the vanilla brown sugar body wash. I like smelling of sugar cookies and butter cream. Food is way better than flowers when it comes to beauty products, and within food the hierarchy is baked goods over fruit.