The Ultimate Dinner Party

Most of us have been asked the question, “If you could invite anyone, living or dead, to a dinner party, whom would you choose?” It is fun to think about the ultimate guest list combination, how they would interact with one another, and the conversations to be had with people we admire. Honestly, it would be even nicer just to have all the people we care for share a meal together, since everyone is scattered about these days.

What I wonder is what are we going to eat. No one ever talks about the menu, and I think I know why. Based on a thoroughly scientific assessment, I can say with complete confidence that it is because we have all gotten too picky. Usually, we’re lucky if we can find even one person who sort of shares our eating habits, much less a dinner party’s worth. It is becoming a challenge to eat with other people, so that all are happy and no one sneaks home to nosh out in private afterwards.

Nearly everyone has a special health regimen or food allergy or things they simply find disgusting. Oh, I’m aware that I’m part of the problem – a seafood-eating vegetarian who avoids fast food. I’ll eat the hell out of desserts and drink beer, but wine gives me migraines. The texture of sushi is more than I can deal with, but I’ve tried, really tried to get along with it.

Here’s what I do know. Among my dinner party guests are the following food issues: A hypoglycemic vegetarian, a carnivore who is allergic to seafood, several people on low carb diets, the anti-salad faction, a lactose-intolerant vegetarian, a few who gave up sweets for Lent, someone else whose medication prevents the consumption of green vegetables, a hamburger-only devotee, multiple mayo-haters, a butter phobe, caffeine avoiders, sneaky dessert deniers, and many who have specific, varied veggie issues. This doesn’t even cover the neurotic food habits, which I should save for a whole separate post. Just one example, though: washing bananas before peeling them.

How did this happen? Food is something that brings people together, but there is less to bond over as we all get choosier. I realize it is for health reasons, and I want what is best for everyone. But each home cooked meal can be as tremendously difficult to negotiate as a buying a used car. I have a hard time cooking for people now, and I actually love to cook.

I don’t know anyone with a nut allergy, but the thought of serving peanut butter sandwiches isn’t quite right for the occasion. Take-out might work, but it lacks the personal gesture. Since this is a dream dinner party, lets imagine I have the skill to cook a favorite dish for each of you. Y’all are definitely worth it!