So I should have mentioned this a few days ago, but Dash Rip Rock played in Savannah last weekend. This is the band that I blame for my hearing being so bad that I mishear sentences all the time. If someone says, “Would you like to go to the mall?” what I actually hear is, “Would you like to lick my balls?” My head is always snapping up because I think I’ve just heard something enormously pervy.
The first time I saw Dash Rip Rock play, I rode 100 miles with my high school boyfriend and his buddies to Sluggo’s in Pensacola. I was 17 years old – too young, it turned out, to actually get into the club where they were playing. We went to a gas station to get a red marker and try to replicate the hand stamp so I could get in. I was certain that I would be spending the evening waiting in the car while everyone else saw the show. While we were busy creating counterfeit stamps, who else do we see at the gas station but Dash Rip Rock themselves. They put me on their guest list, and I walked right past the bouncers who had turned me away an hour earlier. Me, plus two kids belonging to the band that were, I swear, 8 years old. That night was my first taste of what a sweaty, high-energy fun as hell concert should be like.
There is only one original member left in Dash Rip Rock. The absence of Ned “Hoaky” Hickle harshes my mellow, for reasons I won’t explain here. I have a drumstick signed by another former member, Chris “Lucky Dog” Luckette. That was from a show I saw in college, where the band handed out miscellaneous junk from their pockets to a few girls in the crowd. I’m glad I got the drumstick and not the condom my roommate got.
So this time, they played a few too many covers. But they are still the lovable scamps that I remember. They have a few pics on their website from Saturday’s show. Take special notice of the sign advertising the $2 PBR specials! This was also the night we learned, courtesy of Victoria, that clogging to Cajun Punk is possible. So is looking cute while doing it.
Speaking of music, has anyone else noticed Matisyahu? He is this amazing reggae guy that I really want to hear more of. If you watch VH1 before 6 am, you might catch his video.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Between Dates
The scenario is this: you’ve just had a really good first date. The banter was lively and easy, the two of you have chemistry, and now you remember that dates are supposed to be fun. You didn’t embarrass yourself, your date didn’t disappoint, and you’d like another go. What to do? You don’t want to rush things and blow it, so distracting yourself is recommended. The Frisky Biscuit has compiled a list of safe activities to sustain your excitement without being all up in their grill. These activities, if carefully rationed, may just take the edge off so you don’t seem like a desperado.
Step 1
Check their astrological sign and horoscope for evidence that you have romantic possibilities. If the outcome is favorable, feel smugly satisfied and proceed to Step 2. If the prediction isn’t what you were hoping for, discredit astrology as rubbish.
Step 2
Look person’s name up in book of name meanings. Focus intently on those qualities that are most attractive. Sigh dreamily.
Step 3
Now is the time to ensure you don’t have a criminal on your hands. Google your date’s name. Perhaps you’ll even collect a fantasy-worthy tidbit, such as college rugby champion or volunteer work with orphans in Africa.
Step 4
Replay voice mail they left you. Verify that they have a decidedly sexy voice.
Step 5
Go to the gym to achieve that healthy glow and work off any nervous energy. Also, you might want to tone up just in case.
Step 6
Develop wardrobe strategy, allowing for various contingencies such as weather and date location, to prepare for possible spontaneous second date.
Step 7
Enjoy this time - having something to look forward to is one of life’s sweetest pleasures.
Repeat as needed until you have achieved ultimate domestic bliss with your ideal sweetie. Good luck, my little friskies!
Step 1
Check their astrological sign and horoscope for evidence that you have romantic possibilities. If the outcome is favorable, feel smugly satisfied and proceed to Step 2. If the prediction isn’t what you were hoping for, discredit astrology as rubbish.
Step 2
Look person’s name up in book of name meanings. Focus intently on those qualities that are most attractive. Sigh dreamily.
Step 3
Now is the time to ensure you don’t have a criminal on your hands. Google your date’s name. Perhaps you’ll even collect a fantasy-worthy tidbit, such as college rugby champion or volunteer work with orphans in Africa.
Step 4
Replay voice mail they left you. Verify that they have a decidedly sexy voice.
Step 5
Go to the gym to achieve that healthy glow and work off any nervous energy. Also, you might want to tone up just in case.
Step 6
Develop wardrobe strategy, allowing for various contingencies such as weather and date location, to prepare for possible spontaneous second date.
Step 7
Enjoy this time - having something to look forward to is one of life’s sweetest pleasures.
Repeat as needed until you have achieved ultimate domestic bliss with your ideal sweetie. Good luck, my little friskies!
Monday, March 27, 2006
Overheard on Set (yes, even more H & R details!)
During scenes, we were asked to mouth - not speak - conversation to one another. This is actually more intimate and uncomfortable than it sounds, considering we had only just met. Lip-synching is creepy and makes me feel like an ass, so I amused myself by trying to say funny things. Oh, and I totally whispered, despite it being forbidden. Without any idea of the full story of the pilot, we made up our own idiotic social transactions. So, for my final Hollis and Rae posting (for now) here are some random things I overheard (or whispered) during filming.
“Did you fix the bride’s hair? Oh, you are so talented!”
“I’m going to look straight into the camera, pick up that quail, and lick it.”
“Did you bring that guy? Look at how he is dancing!”
“Do you want to watch me make out with that drummer?”
“Did you make those chocolate almonds? Because they taste like chalk.”
“Your daughter is a slut.”
“War Eagle!”
“Look who’s drunk again.”
“What’s a ‘honey wagon’?”
“I feel like an ass.”
“I bet your dog is on the couch, right now, eating something from the garbage can.”
“She’s out there.”
“Your wife said we could leave together.”
“Did you fix the bride’s hair? Oh, you are so talented!”
“I’m going to look straight into the camera, pick up that quail, and lick it.”
“Did you bring that guy? Look at how he is dancing!”
“Do you want to watch me make out with that drummer?”
“Did you make those chocolate almonds? Because they taste like chalk.”
“Your daughter is a slut.”
“War Eagle!”
“Look who’s drunk again.”
“What’s a ‘honey wagon’?”
“I feel like an ass.”
“I bet your dog is on the couch, right now, eating something from the garbage can.”
“She’s out there.”
“Your wife said we could leave together.”
Sunday, March 26, 2006
The Social Behavior of Extras
Required to obtain most of their information through rumors, extras are frequently seen whispering amongst themselves. Reserved at first, they quickly realize that the only people who will talk to them are other extras. By the end of the first day, the cliques were formed. The extras playing cops hung out with their fellow officers; the bartenders and waiters traveled in a pack. All of the people playing parents and grandparents stationed themselves at the chaperone table to counter the naughty teenager antics of the rest of us. This sorting out naturally occurs because people crave the company of those who have been through similar experiences. It is a relief to compare notes, evaluate our behavior, and share stories. Kind of like group therapy, only without the disturbing personal details.
Working in film and television has been described as a “Hurry up and wait” environment. If you will be in front of the camera, you are expected to have your hair fluffed and your face de-shined so you can act on a moment’s notice. An impressive amount of steady grooming was a popular activity. Sometimes the hair and makeup team would provide touch ups, and at other times we groomed each other like apes in a nature documentary. Shoulders were brushed off, flyaways were tamed, and no one had a problem with virtual strangers leaning over to wipe a smudge off your cheek. All our lives we are told it is rude to fix your hair at a table where people are eating, but this was routine for the actors. Each time the director yelled “cut” the hair and makeup people stormed the set from all directions like a team of product-wielding gypsies. I went through a month’s worth of lip-gloss the first day alone.
Some people took on the role of nurturer, asking everyone how they were feeling and providing diversions to pass the time. Several of the men behaved like hunters, returning from craft services with snacks to share. One woman (ahem) seemed to have all the stuff everyone wanted, like tissues, aspirin, and a mirror. There was a male extra who became the self-appointed director-to-extras translator. If they would shout “rolling” for us to quiet down, he would lean in the room and repeat it to us.
Because we were filming a rehearsal dinner scene over two days, we had to wear the same clothes and accessories. On the second day of filming, it looked like a Walk of Shame Convention. Photos were taken on the first day to ensure continuity down to the smallest wardrobe detail. This is where I was grateful to be wearing my own clothes, because the fit was comfortable and I knew everything was clean. Even the most dignified people rightfully feel crusty after 30 hours spent in the same outfit.
During a scene where everyone was leaving a party, the extras had loosened up and began to improvise. In the South, people like to hug on each other, and so we went for it. It must have looked creepy on camera, because after a few takes we were banned from hugging. So much for making it look like a realistic Southern wedding.
I had a wardrobe malfunction to contend with. During one particularly...frisky hugging session, a guy accidentally elbowed me in the back, causing the hook on my dress to pop out and the back of my dress to flap open. I kept going, hoping the dress wouldn’t expose more than my back, and thankfully I didn’t flash the camera. My partner for that scene remarked that most guys have to struggle to get hooks on women’s clothes undone, but this dude had a smooth elbow move that got quick results.
As the time passed, self-consciousness started to melt away. One guy actually changed his pants in the tent where we waited. During filming, we weren’t allowed to see what our “acting” looked like, so it became easy to forget the cameras were there. We started improvising imaginary traits and back-stories for our characters, making up our own world of dramas. In a way, we had more creative control than the actors over our facial expressions and use of props, since we got very little feedback. Save the cringing and self-loathing for later; but for now, I think this was fabulous!
Working in film and television has been described as a “Hurry up and wait” environment. If you will be in front of the camera, you are expected to have your hair fluffed and your face de-shined so you can act on a moment’s notice. An impressive amount of steady grooming was a popular activity. Sometimes the hair and makeup team would provide touch ups, and at other times we groomed each other like apes in a nature documentary. Shoulders were brushed off, flyaways were tamed, and no one had a problem with virtual strangers leaning over to wipe a smudge off your cheek. All our lives we are told it is rude to fix your hair at a table where people are eating, but this was routine for the actors. Each time the director yelled “cut” the hair and makeup people stormed the set from all directions like a team of product-wielding gypsies. I went through a month’s worth of lip-gloss the first day alone.
Some people took on the role of nurturer, asking everyone how they were feeling and providing diversions to pass the time. Several of the men behaved like hunters, returning from craft services with snacks to share. One woman (ahem) seemed to have all the stuff everyone wanted, like tissues, aspirin, and a mirror. There was a male extra who became the self-appointed director-to-extras translator. If they would shout “rolling” for us to quiet down, he would lean in the room and repeat it to us.
Because we were filming a rehearsal dinner scene over two days, we had to wear the same clothes and accessories. On the second day of filming, it looked like a Walk of Shame Convention. Photos were taken on the first day to ensure continuity down to the smallest wardrobe detail. This is where I was grateful to be wearing my own clothes, because the fit was comfortable and I knew everything was clean. Even the most dignified people rightfully feel crusty after 30 hours spent in the same outfit.
During a scene where everyone was leaving a party, the extras had loosened up and began to improvise. In the South, people like to hug on each other, and so we went for it. It must have looked creepy on camera, because after a few takes we were banned from hugging. So much for making it look like a realistic Southern wedding.
I had a wardrobe malfunction to contend with. During one particularly...frisky hugging session, a guy accidentally elbowed me in the back, causing the hook on my dress to pop out and the back of my dress to flap open. I kept going, hoping the dress wouldn’t expose more than my back, and thankfully I didn’t flash the camera. My partner for that scene remarked that most guys have to struggle to get hooks on women’s clothes undone, but this dude had a smooth elbow move that got quick results.
As the time passed, self-consciousness started to melt away. One guy actually changed his pants in the tent where we waited. During filming, we weren’t allowed to see what our “acting” looked like, so it became easy to forget the cameras were there. We started improvising imaginary traits and back-stories for our characters, making up our own world of dramas. In a way, we had more creative control than the actors over our facial expressions and use of props, since we got very little feedback. Save the cringing and self-loathing for later; but for now, I think this was fabulous!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Extras (We Eat Your Leftovers)
Lunch on the first day of filming presented a dilemma. We extras quickly learned that contrary to our expectations, we were not honored guests. After waiting for the cast and crew to eat, and watching to see what delicacies they brought back to their VIP tables, we were finally invited to have lunch. The food looked generous and amazing – barbequed ribs, chicken, fish, macaroni and cheese, corn, rice, baked beans, a big time salad bar, and a table with cookies and cheesecake and ice cream. However, there were both paper and nice plates; also a choice between silverware or plastic flatware. Was there a flatware hierarchy in place? Was someone watching to make sure the extras kept their grubby mitts off the good plates? I meekly used the disposable plates on the first day, but secretly began plotting a future upgrade.
The food, by the way, was delicious. In the morning, craft services set out fresh fruit - washed and sliced and irresistibly juicy. Muffins, bagels, and a variety of cereals were offered to us. After all, when call time is at 6:15 AM, there must be some incentive to entice the naive and keep the seasoned pros from grumbling. The extras didn’t get to have dinner (despite working until 10 or 11 PM), but the crew and cast were offered plates of sandwiches right in front of us. Also, there was a man walking around in overalls with a tray, asking if we wanted some sausage.
The craft services table was our boredom relief and munchie defeater. Fruit, power bars, candy, crackers, trail mix, sodas, and water were plentiful (if you could get to the table and scarf it down in between takes). The trail mix was suspiciously heavy on raisins, while lacking in nuts and chocolate. The longer the hours got, the bigger the conspiracy theories. Oh, we dreamed up some grand plans with that trail mix, like filling a champagne glass with raisins and seeing if we could get away with sipping from it during a scene.
For filming scenes, there was a whole crew putting together food and beverages for the tables to make it look like we were at a party. For champagne, we drank ginger ale during the day. At night, the ginger ale was swapped with sparkling funk juice. Grape juice was the stand-in for red wine, and the water tasted fresh from the backyard hose. Some of the extras had to eat the red velvet and chocolate cake for their scenes. Others came back to a table of partially masticated bon-bons. For the wedding reception, quail were vulgarly splayed out over a mashed potato ball, with a sprig of rosemary jutting out between its stiff legs. As the hours passed, those little devil birds started to reek. The prop food was real, and provided an endless source of amusement for all.
The best food related story that I heard about involved Hollis’ beans. The actress playing Hollis got a plate and scooped up some baked beans and an ear of corn. Then she realized the beans had meat in them, and I hear she kind of panicked. She snatched up that ear of corn in one hand, and held the plate of beans, while looking around with a confused “what do I do?” look. So one of the extras handed her a clean plate, and she put her corn on it, and handed him the offending plate of beans. He used that plate of beans for his lunch, and has my favorite actor-to-extra encounter story. For the rest of his life, he will be able to say that he ate Hollis’s beans. Now I really hope she becomes famous!
The food, by the way, was delicious. In the morning, craft services set out fresh fruit - washed and sliced and irresistibly juicy. Muffins, bagels, and a variety of cereals were offered to us. After all, when call time is at 6:15 AM, there must be some incentive to entice the naive and keep the seasoned pros from grumbling. The extras didn’t get to have dinner (despite working until 10 or 11 PM), but the crew and cast were offered plates of sandwiches right in front of us. Also, there was a man walking around in overalls with a tray, asking if we wanted some sausage.
The craft services table was our boredom relief and munchie defeater. Fruit, power bars, candy, crackers, trail mix, sodas, and water were plentiful (if you could get to the table and scarf it down in between takes). The trail mix was suspiciously heavy on raisins, while lacking in nuts and chocolate. The longer the hours got, the bigger the conspiracy theories. Oh, we dreamed up some grand plans with that trail mix, like filling a champagne glass with raisins and seeing if we could get away with sipping from it during a scene.
For filming scenes, there was a whole crew putting together food and beverages for the tables to make it look like we were at a party. For champagne, we drank ginger ale during the day. At night, the ginger ale was swapped with sparkling funk juice. Grape juice was the stand-in for red wine, and the water tasted fresh from the backyard hose. Some of the extras had to eat the red velvet and chocolate cake for their scenes. Others came back to a table of partially masticated bon-bons. For the wedding reception, quail were vulgarly splayed out over a mashed potato ball, with a sprig of rosemary jutting out between its stiff legs. As the hours passed, those little devil birds started to reek. The prop food was real, and provided an endless source of amusement for all.
The best food related story that I heard about involved Hollis’ beans. The actress playing Hollis got a plate and scooped up some baked beans and an ear of corn. Then she realized the beans had meat in them, and I hear she kind of panicked. She snatched up that ear of corn in one hand, and held the plate of beans, while looking around with a confused “what do I do?” look. So one of the extras handed her a clean plate, and she put her corn on it, and handed him the offending plate of beans. He used that plate of beans for his lunch, and has my favorite actor-to-extra encounter story. For the rest of his life, he will be able to say that he ate Hollis’s beans. Now I really hope she becomes famous!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Extras Survival Guide
The first rule of extras is: you don’t talk during rolling. The second rule of extras is: you DON’T TALK DURING ROLLING. Oh yes, there is a third rule. Extras are not allowed to look at the actors. Extras would be well advised to avert their eyes when an actor is in the room, as they are working and cannot be distracted. It is also obligatory that extras do not talk to the actors. Just who do you think you are anyway? We don’t care if everyone in the south feels entitled to chat up anyone at any time. We are from Hollywood, and we don’t care how you do things here. Honestly, we don’t know how you people live like this.
Now, there are some issues of etiquette that we must address. We are going to be calling you “Background”, because that is what you are. It is no different from a plant or that 17th century armoire really, except the plant is union.
Background can expect that they will be the last ones to ride the van back to lunch, to set, or to the parking lot. You are being paid to wait around all day, and this is no different.
Background will stay away from the crew’s craft services table, if they know what is good for them. You have your own craft services, you’re just not allowed to go there right now.
Background will ask permission if they have to go to the bathroom. We might say no. Be prepared to deal with it.
Thanks, you guys, you totally rock! Now what was your name again...?
Now, there are some issues of etiquette that we must address. We are going to be calling you “Background”, because that is what you are. It is no different from a plant or that 17th century armoire really, except the plant is union.
Background can expect that they will be the last ones to ride the van back to lunch, to set, or to the parking lot. You are being paid to wait around all day, and this is no different.
Background will stay away from the crew’s craft services table, if they know what is good for them. You have your own craft services, you’re just not allowed to go there right now.
Background will ask permission if they have to go to the bathroom. We might say no. Be prepared to deal with it.
Thanks, you guys, you totally rock! Now what was your name again...?
Monday, March 20, 2006
Hollis and Rae Part II
First impressions on my life as an extra: We worked crazy long hours. I met the most incredible, fun people. It was like going to a particularly cool summer camp, mixed with the sleep deprivation and intensity of final exam week. I am so glad I did this. Now I really need to sleep.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Hollis and Rae Part I
Last night I went in for my “costume fitting” for the TV pilot Hollis and Rae. And by “costume fitting” I mean “bring in your best clothes so we can judge you for being the classless slob that you are”. We got an email telling us to bring two or three options for each scene, one being a rehearsal dinner and the other a wedding. Oh, and it is being filmed at the chichi Ford Plantation. Yes, that Ford family.
When I first got the call asking me to be an extra, I immediately turned to my proven method of calming down. I made a list. It was called “What to Bring During Filming”. In addition to the typical (for me) things like snacks, magazines, paper and pen, I boldly wrote down “Flask of Courage”. Then I commenced to spending the rest of the day chewing on my lip, with my brow stuck in furrow-ville, sighing.
When I stepped up to be an extra, I imagined they would dress us up and make us look movie star gorgeous. As soon as I found out I had to wear my own clothes, I looked at my closet during lunch and knew I’d be power shopping that evening. Let’s face it; there are some problems that can be solved just by throwing money at them, and this was one of them. I can rationalize just about anything, and the possibility of appearing on national TV requires that you do everything possible to look hot. It is like dressing for an event where you know you’ll see an ex, except this takes care of all exes with one shot. Besides, I can always return the two dresses and two pairs of shoes if they don’t get selected.
I have few dressy clothes – my lifestyle gives me little opportunity to practice being a classy, society babe. I grew up in Florida. We don’t do formal. And I have a history of dysfunction whenever I have to find something to wear to a wedding, because I don’t want to embarrass myself or the people I care about. The subtleties of special occasion outfitting befuddle me – daytime versus evening weddings, invitations to parties that say “dressy casual”, etc. Besides, there might be boys there. Cute new boys to flirt with and fantasize about. I can think of few situations besides weddings that cause me to stress out to seriously unbelievable and un-called for levels. And this one is going to be on TV.
For the fitting, in transient bag-lady fashion, I schlepped down Drayton Street with a borrowed garment bag of my best fancy clothes and a wheeled suitcase full of shoes. The “base camp” is a bunch of trailers idling in a vacant, dirt parking lot, with lots of shady characters and a disinterested security guard. Oh, and one other extra, who looked exactly, specifically, like Jack Johnson. Yum.
The wardrobe people look at my clothes and proclaim most of them to be a little casual, until we arrive at my panic shopping spree items. They loves them. Dresses, shoes – I’m in two scenes and now I’m $200 bucks in the hole already. I have to change in a trailer, then come back and (flashing all of the joggers in Forsyth Park) I dig around for the matching shoes in my suitcase, which is on the ground. They take a photo, question why I don’t have any nice jewelry, and then it’s back to the trailer to change into the other dress. One of the ladies starts pawing through my suitcase, pulls out a handbag, and exclaims “Steve Madden! We love him!” Then after another Polaroid, she says, “Thanks for bringing such great stuff” and sends me to the hair and makeup trailer. I swell up with pride that my clothes were complimented – just as I craved the approval of my cd selection from those dirty-cute rocker boys working in record shops back in college.
The hair and makeup people are confused as to why I’m there. “Just fix your hair and makeup yourself, like you have it now”. You mean greasy? End of the day hair flattened against my skull and mascara rings under my eyes? I was hoping to enjoy this as one time where I can pare down my morning routine and let someone else worry about it. Do my own hair and makeup? Okay, I will. But you’ll be sorry.
Much thanks to Victoria for sleuthing out some more information about Hollis and Rae. Gah. You’d think the whole thing was about me and I’m not just an extra, a seat-filler in the background, I’m so nervous. It’s only a TV pilot, and hasn’t been picked up yet. Sometimes they don’t even air pilots. But Hollis and Rae is being produced by Steven Bochco (NYPD Blues), and directed by Callie Khouri (Thelma & Louise). It is already in the IMDB, and was mentioned in the March 17th Entertainment Weekly (p. 20). Frazzle! Frazzle!
So, I’ll be back in a few days. Filming is Thursday, Friday and Monday. Worry not, Natasha, I promise to spill the details. Wish me luck!
When I first got the call asking me to be an extra, I immediately turned to my proven method of calming down. I made a list. It was called “What to Bring During Filming”. In addition to the typical (for me) things like snacks, magazines, paper and pen, I boldly wrote down “Flask of Courage”. Then I commenced to spending the rest of the day chewing on my lip, with my brow stuck in furrow-ville, sighing.
When I stepped up to be an extra, I imagined they would dress us up and make us look movie star gorgeous. As soon as I found out I had to wear my own clothes, I looked at my closet during lunch and knew I’d be power shopping that evening. Let’s face it; there are some problems that can be solved just by throwing money at them, and this was one of them. I can rationalize just about anything, and the possibility of appearing on national TV requires that you do everything possible to look hot. It is like dressing for an event where you know you’ll see an ex, except this takes care of all exes with one shot. Besides, I can always return the two dresses and two pairs of shoes if they don’t get selected.
I have few dressy clothes – my lifestyle gives me little opportunity to practice being a classy, society babe. I grew up in Florida. We don’t do formal. And I have a history of dysfunction whenever I have to find something to wear to a wedding, because I don’t want to embarrass myself or the people I care about. The subtleties of special occasion outfitting befuddle me – daytime versus evening weddings, invitations to parties that say “dressy casual”, etc. Besides, there might be boys there. Cute new boys to flirt with and fantasize about. I can think of few situations besides weddings that cause me to stress out to seriously unbelievable and un-called for levels. And this one is going to be on TV.
For the fitting, in transient bag-lady fashion, I schlepped down Drayton Street with a borrowed garment bag of my best fancy clothes and a wheeled suitcase full of shoes. The “base camp” is a bunch of trailers idling in a vacant, dirt parking lot, with lots of shady characters and a disinterested security guard. Oh, and one other extra, who looked exactly, specifically, like Jack Johnson. Yum.
The wardrobe people look at my clothes and proclaim most of them to be a little casual, until we arrive at my panic shopping spree items. They loves them. Dresses, shoes – I’m in two scenes and now I’m $200 bucks in the hole already. I have to change in a trailer, then come back and (flashing all of the joggers in Forsyth Park) I dig around for the matching shoes in my suitcase, which is on the ground. They take a photo, question why I don’t have any nice jewelry, and then it’s back to the trailer to change into the other dress. One of the ladies starts pawing through my suitcase, pulls out a handbag, and exclaims “Steve Madden! We love him!” Then after another Polaroid, she says, “Thanks for bringing such great stuff” and sends me to the hair and makeup trailer. I swell up with pride that my clothes were complimented – just as I craved the approval of my cd selection from those dirty-cute rocker boys working in record shops back in college.
The hair and makeup people are confused as to why I’m there. “Just fix your hair and makeup yourself, like you have it now”. You mean greasy? End of the day hair flattened against my skull and mascara rings under my eyes? I was hoping to enjoy this as one time where I can pare down my morning routine and let someone else worry about it. Do my own hair and makeup? Okay, I will. But you’ll be sorry.
Much thanks to Victoria for sleuthing out some more information about Hollis and Rae. Gah. You’d think the whole thing was about me and I’m not just an extra, a seat-filler in the background, I’m so nervous. It’s only a TV pilot, and hasn’t been picked up yet. Sometimes they don’t even air pilots. But Hollis and Rae is being produced by Steven Bochco (NYPD Blues), and directed by Callie Khouri (Thelma & Louise). It is already in the IMDB, and was mentioned in the March 17th Entertainment Weekly (p. 20). Frazzle! Frazzle!
So, I’ll be back in a few days. Filming is Thursday, Friday and Monday. Worry not, Natasha, I promise to spill the details. Wish me luck!
Monday, March 13, 2006
Hello, Gorgeous!
St. Patrick’s Day is approaching, so make sure you get your greens. Green beer – traditional; green grits – a Southern twist on the celebration. But this year, might I suggest a green* velvet cake? Those of you who are familiar with red velvet cakes, well, you know what to do.
*Idea for green velvet first spotted at, where else, The Grit!
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Get Your Green On
St. Patrick’s Day is a BIG DEAL in Savannah. Seriously. We don’t joke around when it comes to libations and celebrations, so you can trust that things will be done properly. After all, Savannah has the second largest St. Patrick’s Day parade in the country, right after NYC. Officially, I suppose events kick off with the traditional “Greening of the Fountain”. One week before the parade, green dye is added to the water in the fountain at Forsyth Park, as well as the fountains of all the squares.
It doesn’t end there, as the city has a festival called Tara Feis for the kids (yes, adults can go too, but for the music, never the face painting or moon walk or anything uncool like that). There was a lovely Irish band, called Dervish, this year. Back in February there was also an Irish Festival, with Irish dancing and music, so we have really worked up to the big event. In addition to this, there are concerts, rugby matches, vendors selling beads and junk, and nightly Mardi Gras-esque oddities. This year, The Frisky Biscuit had planned on providing full-on coverage of St. Patrick’s Day all that accompanies it.
Which brings us to the news: I’ve gotten a part as an extra in the TV pilot! It happens that I’ll be filming on the day of the parade, so I’ll miss out on the main freak show. I’ll do my best to foster St. Patrick’s Day spirit in my posts to make up for this. Right then, sweetie darlings, Hollywood beckons.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
2 Non-Creepy Robots (+ 1 that might be)
What do we have on the menu for today? Ah yes. I’ll be telling you about my new robot. He has a specialty, and it is carpet cleaning. But he is marketed as more than that, perhaps a friendly robot that deserves a real name of his own. For now we’ll stick with the one assigned to all of his kind: SpotBot.
SpotBot is a good chap. He keeps things tidy, he doesn’t try to make me learn crappy multiplication tables. SpotBot wants me to relax with a cup of tea, while he takes care of things. I’m ready for ChefBot, and CleanTheBathroomBot, but for now this is a harmonious development in my household.
This is not the first time a robot has entered my life. That honor goes to Alphie, or ALPHIE (whatever). Kind of low-tech. Maybe not a robot exactly. I don’t remember how you used your robot powers to serve humankind, but you sure were a cute fella.
Finally, this brings us to the new Coldplay video “Talk”. If you haven’t seen it, Chris Martin and the boys discover a giant robot (that actually looks like Alphie). At first, he seems like a melancholy robot that has been tossed out for a newer model. Then Coldplay rock out for him, and this robot revives and seems friendly enough. It looks like he parties. But oh no, that robot ends up EATING the Coldplay spaceship as if the time they shared meant nothing, NOTHING, I tell you!
Cliffhanger of the week: I may have some exciting developments to report. Like the robots I dream about, this news is from the future.
SpotBot is a good chap. He keeps things tidy, he doesn’t try to make me learn crappy multiplication tables. SpotBot wants me to relax with a cup of tea, while he takes care of things. I’m ready for ChefBot, and CleanTheBathroomBot, but for now this is a harmonious development in my household.
This is not the first time a robot has entered my life. That honor goes to Alphie, or ALPHIE (whatever). Kind of low-tech. Maybe not a robot exactly. I don’t remember how you used your robot powers to serve humankind, but you sure were a cute fella.
Finally, this brings us to the new Coldplay video “Talk”. If you haven’t seen it, Chris Martin and the boys discover a giant robot (that actually looks like Alphie). At first, he seems like a melancholy robot that has been tossed out for a newer model. Then Coldplay rock out for him, and this robot revives and seems friendly enough. It looks like he parties. But oh no, that robot ends up EATING the Coldplay spaceship as if the time they shared meant nothing, NOTHING, I tell you!
Cliffhanger of the week: I may have some exciting developments to report. Like the robots I dream about, this news is from the future.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Floaty
Hi. My name is Ramona, and I live in an apartment complex.
Situated on the marshes, with a boat dock and river view, it is considered to be one of the more posh complexes in Savannah. Or so I thought.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have what appears to be a floating trailer. I know housing has gotten expensive, but since when did pulling your houseboat up to a dock become an option? Strange sight indeed.
While I’m on the topic of my apartment location, there was a fire a few weeks ago at the nearby restaurant. The night it happened, I heard sirens but thought little of it, this being Savannah and all. While on our usual walk, Lady Buttercup and I noticed a most peculiar excitement in the air. Many of my neighbors had to abandon their cars by the side of the road, since they couldn’t drive over the fire hose stretched from the only hydrant to the fire. I’ve never seen so many people walking around – and being social. It was like a block party, with people filtering out on the docks for a clear view of the fire.
One would think I’d have frequented the place, me being a Florida girl who loves her waterfront dining. However, this restaurant happens to be the rogue agent responsible for the first time I got sick in Savannah. See, they serve hush puppies with a wee bowl of melted butter. Oh yes, we dipped ‘em. Never went back, and now it’s not an option.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Potter Power
Few things have the potency to distract me from a meal. With the DVD release of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, I may have met my match. I suspect that I’ll be spending my lunch break on Tuesday eagerly snatching up a copy, as The Goblet of Fire has been my favorite in the series. Add that to the meager list of things I’ve done during my lunch hour that I deemed more important than eating. Take note, readers – it doesn’t happen often. The list includes:
1. The release of The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou on DVD. Wes Anderson is a genius, and he reliably gives us girls some Wilson brother action.
2. Buying the new Tom Robbins book Villa Incognito (Ugh! To those of you who I’ve tried to push Tom Robbins on – I won’t be doing that again. So sorry!)
3. Gotten a car wash. Can’t remember why this was such a brilliant idea.
4. Had a nap. This has happened more than once actually.
5. Purchased firewood, beer, and s’mores fixins for a hot date later that night.
1. The release of The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou on DVD. Wes Anderson is a genius, and he reliably gives us girls some Wilson brother action.
2. Buying the new Tom Robbins book Villa Incognito (Ugh! To those of you who I’ve tried to push Tom Robbins on – I won’t be doing that again. So sorry!)
3. Gotten a car wash. Can’t remember why this was such a brilliant idea.
4. Had a nap. This has happened more than once actually.
5. Purchased firewood, beer, and s’mores fixins for a hot date later that night.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
A Dismal Revelation
Something about the colors on the (free) template for my blog began troubling me recently. At first, it was a vague sense that something was...dismal. Then I realized: I was one yellow font away from resembling a Pepto-Bismol bottle. As children, my sister and I thought it was called Pepto-Dismal, which made our parents laugh but we didn’t understand why. Ironically, the contents of The Frisky Biscuit have been known to cause gastro-intestinal distress in test subjects. Consider this your warning, and proceed with caution.
So, refresh your browser to get the full-on shiny new look of The Frisky Biscuit. Ah, cleanliness and purity. Doesn’t that feel better?
You can expect continued fiddling around, indecisiveness, and abrupt changes. Contradictions and switcheroos are typical of me. Also prone to disappearing for a few days, then resurfacing in a spastic fit of overcompensation. Like all good biscuits, I am flaky.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Predictions
This Sunday brings us the 78th Annual Academy Awards (known on the street as the Oscars). Planning an Oscars party? Well, the good folks over at M&M’s have a few suggestions, like a red carpet and SWAG for your guests. Eh – too much work. Better just to roll in with champers and a pizza coupon. Here are my Oscars predictions:
Prediction #1
I’ll try to convince people at my Oscars party that we should eat only gold (or yellow) food in order to match Oscar.
Prediction #2
These partygoers will revolt against my menu of mac & cheese, fish sticks, pineapple, beer, and lemon meringue pie. (Most adults won’t acknowledge fish sticks. But I like ‘em. Glad we got that out in the open.)
Prediction #3
Jon Stewart will be brilliant.
Prediction #4
Jokes of a more political nature than in years past: (see above) + Syriana + Good Night, and Good Luck + Crash + Brokeback Mountain.
Prediction #5
Impromptu drinking games will sprout up based on Isaac Mizrahi’s red carpet antics. My suggestion:
-Take one swig each time Mizrahi asks an inappropriate question
-Take two swigs for each Mizrahi-related occurrence of groping
Prediction #6
We’ll all plan to be sensible and not stay up too late.
Prediction #7
We’ll spend the entire next day in misery because we stayed up too late, and curse ourselves because it was so not worth it.
What? Oh. You were expecting some predictions for Oscar winners*. Right. Well, that is easy enough.
Best Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon
Best Supporting Actor: Paul Giamatti
Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz
Best Picture: Brokeback Mountain
Best Director: Ang Lee
Best Adapted Screenplay: Brokeback Mountain
Best Original Screenplay: Crash
The details: Sunday, March 5th. Red carpet oohing and aahhing begins at 5:30 PM Eastern time on E! The actual awards show begins at 8 PM on ABC. Print your scorecard.
*I don’t know enough about the other categories to comment on them. Though I’m sure they are all quite lovely people.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Wildflower in New England
Congrats to Wildflower on your new job! I hope to see you up in Maine this summer.
Brand New Links
Check out some of my favorite links:
Oh Really?
You want the funny? Sally graciously brings it. This is like getting to sit at the arty, cool kids table, and then finding out why you always wanted to be just like them.
Petit Hiboux
Be mesmerized by the owls. Find proof that true love is out there. Keep up the hope that it will one day happen for you.
London Mark & New York Mark
Exquisite writing, and lots of it. Treat yourself to the savories found in the “Art of” series. My favorite is the “Art of Snacking”.
Shopping List Compendium
Combines the ideal ingredients: food, lists, voyeurism, and a British sense of humor.
Post Secret
Most of these homemade postcards seem to be sent in by depressives. But every now and then, a funny one slips through.
Stuff On My Cat
Sugar up without that pesky trip to the snack machine.
Oh Really?
You want the funny? Sally graciously brings it. This is like getting to sit at the arty, cool kids table, and then finding out why you always wanted to be just like them.
Petit Hiboux
Be mesmerized by the owls. Find proof that true love is out there. Keep up the hope that it will one day happen for you.
London Mark & New York Mark
Exquisite writing, and lots of it. Treat yourself to the savories found in the “Art of” series. My favorite is the “Art of Snacking”.
Shopping List Compendium
Combines the ideal ingredients: food, lists, voyeurism, and a British sense of humor.
Post Secret
Most of these homemade postcards seem to be sent in by depressives. But every now and then, a funny one slips through.
Stuff On My Cat
Sugar up without that pesky trip to the snack machine.
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