Predictions

This Sunday brings us the 78th Annual Academy Awards (known on the street as the Oscars). Planning an Oscars party? Well, the good folks over at M&M’s have a few suggestions, like a red carpet and SWAG for your guests. Eh – too much work. Better just to roll in with champers and a pizza coupon. Here are my Oscars predictions:

Prediction #1
I’ll try to convince people at my Oscars party that we should eat only gold (or yellow) food in order to match Oscar.

Prediction #2
These partygoers will revolt against my menu of mac & cheese, fish sticks, pineapple, beer, and lemon meringue pie. (Most adults won’t acknowledge fish sticks. But I like ‘em. Glad we got that out in the open.)

Prediction #3
Jon Stewart will be brilliant.

Prediction #4
Jokes of a more political nature than in years past: (see above) + Syriana + Good Night, and Good Luck + Crash + Brokeback Mountain.

Prediction #5
Impromptu drinking games will sprout up based on Isaac Mizrahi’s red carpet antics. My suggestion:
-Take one swig each time Mizrahi asks an inappropriate question
-Take two swigs for each Mizrahi-related occurrence of groping

Prediction #6
We’ll all plan to be sensible and not stay up too late.

Prediction #7
We’ll spend the entire next day in misery because we stayed up too late, and curse ourselves because it was so not worth it.

What? Oh. You were expecting some predictions for Oscar winners*. Right. Well, that is easy enough.

Best Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon
Best Supporting Actor: Paul Giamatti
Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz
Best Picture: Brokeback Mountain
Best Director: Ang Lee
Best Adapted Screenplay: Brokeback Mountain
Best Original Screenplay: Crash

The details: Sunday, March 5th. Red carpet oohing and aahhing begins at 5:30 PM Eastern time on E! The actual awards show begins at 8 PM on ABC. Print your scorecard.


*I don’t know enough about the other categories to comment on them. Though I’m sure they are all quite lovely people.