Paging Mr. Herman

An interesting activity presented itself in Thursday’s newspaper. It was an open casting call for extras to appear in a television pilot for ABC. Curiosity, and wanting to avoid regret over an opportunity squandered, propelled me to email Victoria and start my campaign. Victoria was suspicious. “Do you really want to do this, or are you trying to throw me under a bus?”

The open call was on Saturday, and we needed to bring a recent photo. Friday night, we took our cameras out with us to get some snaps. We had a few drinks, including an “Irish Car Bomb” Bucky bought for me. (The Irish Car Bomb is a shot glass of Bailey’s plus whiskey, dropped into a Guinness. You have to chug it, and it is supposed to taste like chocolate milk.) We thought it would be hilarious to pull a classic Patsy from AB FAB and show up for the casting call wearing last night’s clothes, the same as in our photo.

Somehow, all I ended up with was the photo above left.

I am quite enamored of my purse. No one else is, but it has everything a girl could want: pom-poms, sequins, and embroidery.

Saturday morning, 8 AM. It’s raining, I’m feeling stiff and creaky from the previous night’s escapades, the blouse I want to wear needs a button, and I still have to pick out a photo. My options were either one that I don’t care for but have been complimented on (possibly because it has fuzzy lighting and doesn’t look like me); or, one where I’m standing next to an animatronic pirate and a cluster of coconut heads. I probably should have gone for the funny one, to be memorable, but I played it safe and chose the artistic pic.

We get to the Lucas Theatre, and I’m slightly nervous. I imagine that the hopefuls will take turns being filmed on stage while fielding questions. There will probably be hundreds of floosies lined around the block. I figure there will be show moms furiously grooming their offspring – rouging cheeks and combing hair. The scene from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, where he is an extra in the movie about him and he pulls a self-conscious awkward face and can’t get his line out, loops through my mind. That is totally how I’m going to look!

The scene on hand is much more mellow. We are given an application to fill out. It says “Talent” at the top, and asks for our name, address, clothing size, etc. One section asks for “Special Skills”. Victoria teaches ballroom dance and is a divine dancer, so she has that to put down. And me? Well, I can bite into a sandwich and have the filling flop out and smack me on the chin. Are they looking for someone like that?

They call the first group in, and a Kate Hudson look-alike explains what the show is about and what the extras would be asked to do. She explains that they will call us if we are selected as extras. Then we are dismissed. The women were directed to one table, where guys taped our photos to our talent cards. The fact that it was men doing this certainly had nothing to do with us writing down our bra size, right?

Victoria and I had to wait for Sheila to finish her turn, so we did a bit of shopping. I almost approached a man in Hallmark to pet his dog, but luckily realized at the last moment that it was actually an umbrella. Okay then.

We meet up to dissect our big moment over lunch. We ate at a burger place where I was delighted to find a long lost love on the menu. Thus begins the glorious return of corn nuggets into my life. I never thought I’d see these fried, creamed-corn goodies outside of Auburn.

Do I hope to get called in as an extra? Yes, because I might meet some fabulous people and get a good story out of it. And no, because... Paging Mr. Herman!