CRABS!

My apartment is turning against me; clearly, it wants me out. The latest violation was the discovery of a LIVE CRAB hanging out near a snoozing Lady Buttercup - inside my apartment. Living near the marshes, I often see small crabs scuttling around the docks and even the parking lot. But, how does a 1 by 1.5 inch* crab get inside? And how much sense does it make to cozy up to a dog when you are but a wee crab?

Also, I’m thinking of mailing this Christmas tree candle to someone. It was what I ended up with at a recent tacky party/gift exchange. It doesn’t make the cut for my move but it’s too good to waste on the charity donation box without first enjoying a bit of mischief. Who will it be?

*Scientifically accurate measurement.