Juror #10

For the past 2 days, I’ve had jury duty. It’s kind of exciting, and something I’ve long been curious about. Yes, that sounds geeky. So what? I had looked forward to it partly because of the new spectrum of people watching opportunities. Though airports are still my favorite place for that pastime, the Chatham County Courthouse did not disappoint.

During the jury selection process on the first day, there was actually a guy who had to ask, “What is a spouse?”. Oh dear. Of course, I was stuck sitting next to an enormous man who cycled through an entire repertoire of disgusting noises - robustly audible scratching, sneezing, coughing, chortling, sniffling, labored breathing, and phlegm collecting that was so mighty, it vibrated the wooden bench we were sitting on.

Instead of sending a jury summons, the “invitation no one wants to get”, maybe they just need to put a different spin on it. Perhaps if it was marketed as an exciting vacation from your everyday life, people wouldn’t be so grouchy when they report for jury duty. Unless they already know better. It was interesting, in the way that getting out of the office and seeing what other people do all day feels like a school field trip.

How about sending something like, “The exclusive privilege of consorting with the glamorous citizens of Chatham County, Georgia awaits you. Settle into the sumptuous decor lovingly designed in multiple shades of brown - so retro its ahead of its time. Indulge yourself with the fabulous expense account of $10 dollars, from a check made out to BEARER. Experience the full entertainment value offered with our state of the art film screening. Sample the delicacies of our world class menu, available in the chic lounge on the first floor. Appreciate the culture and soothing melodies of Kenny G music each time the attorneys approach the bench. Oh yes, this special opportunity cannot be missed!”

During the trial today, I kept thinking of the time Mumsly served on a jury. It was for an assault case. A woman’s ex-husband had spit (spat?) on her current husband, and took the issue to court. Only in Panama City, folks.